Chasing Mondays!

Currently I am listening to "Stop Sabotaging Your Weight Loss" by Jennifer Powter. I have to stop and think how many books have I already read, listened to, bought, and are lining my shelves that relate to weight loss? Too many to count. How many healthy eating influencers do I follow? Again, too many. And yet here I am still in the same shape I have been for the last umpteen years. Well, plus about 50lbs, it's been a rough couple years. Which is an excuse I tell myself, but really it should not be. People deal with what life throws at them ALL THE TIME without gaining a single pound! So why is it that I cannot get it right? 

I don't have answers for that, but I do know that sabotaging has a lot to do with it. Some of that sabotaging I don't even know I am doing. So, here I am, AGAIN, in the same boat of starting over. But starting over today, not Monday, not tomorrow, but today Friday, August 22nd 2025. My inner fat b*tch, we will call her Bertha, is yelling at me to get through the weekend and start Monday because we have plans on Saturday. But we have to stop chasing Mondays. 

Bertha is so strong that I completely forgot I was rebooting and had a not so healthy lunch...half a grilled cheese (which wasn't even that great), Birria which was fine, and french fries which were curly and I am not even a fan of those. Sigh. STFU Bertha. You are doing me no favors. (Reboot 849 starts now.) I am planning to blog my way through this mess of rebooting my body and mind as often as I can. Bertha is strong, and she controls a lot. So, I have to figure out how to change her mindset along with mine because quite frankly I need to get Bertha on my side. 

I also need to journal food. Which I have always hated doing, it feels overly time consuming. But I feel like I need to commit to that as it seems all the people who are successful do this, especially at the beginning. So, I will give it my all. And may or may not post that here. 

Here we go again!

How funny that I find myself once again thinking about blogging. Wondering should I start fresh with a different platform? So I pulled up my original blog and read the last post I made. The post was from August 1st, 2023 and it basically said I was thinking the same exact thing but realized my previous posts were all part of my journey and that I should definitely continue with the same blog. This still holds true! Therefore, I will keep on keeping on. 

Little did I know that a meer 4 months after my August 2023 post of starting fresh I would lose my mom. And 8 months after that I would have my 2nd knee surgery. To say that I have been on yet another emotional roller coaster would be putting it mildly. Life without my mom is hard. I miss her everyday and there are so many things I want to talk to her about and so many times I just go to pick up the phone to call her. But I can no longer do those things. It is yet another new chapter in my life. But I don't want to focus on loss and sadness. I want to focus on moving forward and choosing happiness, because my mom would want nothing less. Here is to breathing new life into this blog and finding my footing again. 

Challenge Accepted

I've been thinking about revamping this blog for a little while now, but wasn't sure of the direction I wanted to take it in. Or if I wanted to start a brand new blog. (Which I actually started setting up.) But the more I thought about it the more I realized the posts I made previously are all part of my journey. So, I changed the name and some pictures and remodeled it a bit. I'm not even sure if it is going in a new direction because it is still about me and my life. 😊

Recently, I have been doing a lot of self reflection because I have been feeling slightly dispirited and just plain blah. I started thinking about it and I think it all started during the pandemic. I was working from home, I was wearing comfy clothes, no makeup, wasn't going out. Basically, I became a comfy hermit or a frumpy dumpus. Once things started opening up more I went back into the office but nothing much really changed. I mean, I put on a bra, but not a good one. LOL! Sometimes I would slap a little mascara on, but mostly didn't. If I could have worn sweats I probably would have. I just didn't care. I am sure it also had a lot to do with the fact that I could barely move because my knees hurt so bad. I literally stopped doing things if it required a lot of walking, standing, or stairs. I stopped living my life. Fast forward to self reflection, I realized I needed to put a little more effort into myself. For nobody other than, myself. I knew I'd feel better. Slowly I've been making an effort. I also knew I needed to get back on the weight loss wagon. I had lost about 40 pounds prior to having my first knee surgery and it sure did help with mobility. But of course without being able to workout after surgery most of what I lost I gained back.  Jumping back on the weigh loss wagon, I knew that I wanted this time to be different than all the others. So, I joined Weight Watchers (again). I mean, I think the saying is something along the lines of, "the 748th time is a charm", right? I started July 10th. Then I joined a women's only weight loss challenge that started on July 20th. I'd never done a challenge with anyone outside of my friends circle. I don't know half of these women. It is about living outside my comfort zone.  And to blog about it is....WAY OUTSIDE MY COMFORT ZONE. I decided it was time to quit doing what I've always done, and getting what I've always gotten and start living louder and do the hard and scary things and finally getting what I want! Which is clearly, where? OUTSIDE MY COMFORT ZONE! Ha!

The challenge I joined runs to November 16th. Last Thursday marked the end of the first week of the challenge. I lost 1.6 pounds, which I feel good about. I am, however, in 10th place out of the 15 (I think) women in the challenge. I wasn't thrilled with that. Haha. Not that I want anybody to fail I just wanted to be better, well not better, just higher in the ranking. You know, like at least top 5, if not top 3, hell, number 1!! So, challenge accepted. I'll work a little harder, but also keeping in mind this is a marathon not a sprint. And the end goal is better health not winning. But if I can also win, well that's a bonus! 

Until the next time, go and do something brave!

😘

Next New Chapter.

 This is me. I'm 18 years old in this picture. 

I was embarrassed about so many things about my body. My boobs, my thighs, my stomach, how fat I was. That's right, take a look at that picture again. That girl thought she was fat. We all have these pictures and we think to ourselves, "I sure wish I was that fat again". If only right? Fast forward 34 years and this is me now. 

Hello Internet, here I am! In a dress at that!!! Haha. While I don't want to be the 18 year old version of me I also don't necessarily want to be the 52 year old version of me. I want something in-between. I want to be someone who is healthier. Someone who embraces and loves the body she already has, but also strives to find that healthy balance. I don't want to care so much how other people see me. The funny thing is, my true friends don't care at all what I look like, they love me for me. And I deserve to be loved for who I am. This is such a huge step outside my comfort zone, this is me being vulnerable and sharing with you my journey in self love, healthy living, and finding the joy in everything. This is me shedding the thought of there being a skinny girl underneath this fat suit. This "fat suit", as I have called it, is a symbol of everything I've been through; teenage angst, people telling me I'm not good enough, people asking if I should REALLY be eating that, weddings, funerals, lost jobs, celebrations, health scares, divorce, depression, pandemic, osteoarthritis, all the things. But I'm done eating all those feelings and done with this fat suit "symbol". I know all the life I've led to this point, because I lived it! I don't need a 'fat suit' to remind me. Time to simply feel the feelings and move on. Life is never perfect, but we can control how we react to it. And it doesn't always have to be with mashed potatoes and gravy or ice cream. I mean, sometimes it does. Just not EVERY TIME!

So, here I am, taking you all with me on the journey to, well, simply put, a healthier happier me. I will be talking about my daily struggles, things that I buy along the way, or have already bought that may help me with this journey. Books I've read or am reading. The daily battles with my inner voice. And they are DAILY! All the things that are part of my journey will be openly discussed. I've always said I'm an open book. I've just never shared with the whole Internet! 

My Life List

Since I've been focusing on All Things ME, I decided I would write a Life List.
You know, a life list...no? Well, it's basically a bucket list, but I feel like it's more
than just a bucket list.  It's a list of amazing things that may feel unattainable
but not completely unfathomable, others may just be grand, and then there are
also those that aren’t so grand but something you’ve always wanted to do, etc.
You don't, however, want to include things that you could accomplish in an afternoon.
Those goals, or shall I say tasks, don't belong on a life list. The things on a life list
should be measurable. You want to make sure it's specific enough to be able to
recognize when you have actually accomplished it. And when you've accomplished it,
don't remove it, date it! It's doesn't matter the order of your life list, just start
brainstorming and write things down. Do not let the rational you talk dreamer you out
of writing anything down either. Write it down. Your list will grow too, you don't just
write it once, you will most likely continually come up with new things to add.
Today I added another one to the list. There are so many possibilities, a plethora of
them in fact…. NO...dare I say a virtual cornucopia of them! LOL!  

I spoke with a coworker about whether she had a life list or had even heard of one.
And if she had what would be on it? She was intrigued by the idea and she said the
only thing she could come up with (right then) was that she'd always wanted to go
to Vegas. Open your mind to the endless possibilities that could be on your life list.
But make sure these are things that actually matter to you. If going deep sea diving
is not something that really floats your boat, don't write it down, but if snorkeling in
the Grand Cayman islands is
more your style write that down.

So, I started my life list. I will share it with you. It's fun to think about what you would want
to see on your life list. Swimming with dolphins would have been on my life list if I'd started
one sooner. But I did that for my 40th birthday. THAT was awesome. What an experience.
I guess I could add it, and just date it, yes, I think I will do that.

What’s on your life list?
💜

My Life List

(started July 2018, in no particular order)

• Learn to play ukulele
• Road trip to Alaska
• Set up an Etsy store for my artwork
• Create artwork for Etsy store
• Take a road trip, anywhere, to just take pictures
• Write a book
• Take a taxi in NYC
• Swim with dolphins -did this for my 40th birthday in Cancun!! Kaaa-Kaw!
• See a Broadway show in NYC
• Learn to solve a rubix cube
• Create a cookbook with photos
• Go Sightseeing in Greece -on a scooter/vespa
• Sketch a barn like my grandma did
• Go to the hot air balloon festival in New Mexico -Happening in Oct 2018!!
• Build a tiny house
• Go camping, alone. (Eeek!)
• See the Northern Lights (Aurora Borealis)
• Do the splits -at least one more time in my life
• Take a road trip across the U.S.
• Attend Sturgis -Buffalo Chip
• Stay in a Yurt
• Write a successful blog
• Live in a loft
• Visit the Blue Grotto (a sea cave on the coast of the island of Capri, southern Italy)
• Eat a croissant in a French cafe. (In France!)
• Reach my goal weight.
• Fall in love again.
• Visit all the National Parks:

State	National Park	Date visited
Alaska (8)	Denali
	Gates of the Arctic
	Glacier Bay
	Katmai
	Kenai Fjords
	Kobuk Valley
	Lake Clark
	Wrangell - St. Elias
American Samoa	American Samoa
Arizona (3)	Grand Canyon	Late 90’s/Early 2000’s
	Petrified Forest
	Saguaro
Arkansas	Hot Springs
California (8)	Channel Islands
	Death Valley
	Joshua Tree
	Kings Canyon
	Lassen Volcanic
	Redwood	A few times
	Sequoia
	Yosemite	Sept 2009
Colorado (4)	Black Canyon of the Gunnison
	Great Sand Dunes
	Mesa Verde
	Rocky Mountain
Florida (3)	Biscayne
	Dry Tortugas
	Everglades
Hawaii (2)	Haleakala
	Hawaii Volcanoes
Idaho	Yellowstone
Kentucky	Mammoth Cave
Maine	Acadia
Michigan	Isle Royale
Minnesota	Voyageurs
Montana (2)	Glacier
	Yellowstone	2014
Nevada	Great Basin
New Mexico	Carlsbad Caverns
North Carolina	Great Smoky Mountains
North Dakota	Theodore Roosevelt
Ohio	Cuyahoga Valley
Oregon	Crater Lake
South Carolina	Congaree
South Dakota (2)	Badlands
	Wind Cave
Tennessee	Great Smoky Mountains
Texas (2)	Big Bend
	Guadalupe Mountains
U.S. Virgin Islands	Virgin Islands
Utah (5)	Arches
	Bryce Canyon
	Capitol Reef
	Canyonlands
	Zion
Virginia	Shenandoah
Washington (3)	Mount Rainier	Several times
	North Cascades	Several times
	Olympic	Several times
Wyoming (2)	Grand Teton
	Yellowstone