Challenge Accepted

I've been thinking about revamping this blog for a little while now, but wasn't sure of the direction I wanted to take it in. Or if I wanted to start a brand new blog. (Which I actually started setting up.) But the more I thought about it the more I realized the posts I made previously are all part of my journey. So, I changed the name and some pictures and remodeled it a bit. I'm not even sure if it is going in a new direction because it is still about me and my life. 😊

Recently, I have been doing a lot of self reflection because I have been feeling slightly dispirited and just plain blah. I started thinking about it and I think it all started during the pandemic. I was working from home, I was wearing comfy clothes, no makeup, wasn't going out. Basically, I became a comfy hermit or a frumpy dumpus. Once things started opening up more I went back into the office but nothing much really changed. I mean, I put on a bra, but not a good one. LOL! Sometimes I would slap a little mascara on, but mostly didn't. If I could have worn sweats I probably would have. I just didn't care. I am sure it also had a lot to do with the fact that I could barely move because my knees hurt so bad. I literally stopped doing things if it required a lot of walking, standing, or stairs. I stopped living my life. Fast forward to self reflection, I realized I needed to put a little more effort into myself. For nobody other than, myself. I knew I'd feel better. Slowly I've been making an effort. I also knew I needed to get back on the weight loss wagon. I had lost about 40 pounds prior to having my first knee surgery and it sure did help with mobility. But of course without being able to workout after surgery most of what I lost I gained back.  Jumping back on the weigh loss wagon, I knew that I wanted this time to be different than all the others. So, I joined Weight Watchers (again). I mean, I think the saying is something along the lines of, "the 748th time is a charm", right? I started July 10th. Then I joined a women's only weight loss challenge that started on July 20th. I'd never done a challenge with anyone outside of my friends circle. I don't know half of these women. It is about living outside my comfort zone.  And to blog about it is....WAY OUTSIDE MY COMFORT ZONE. I decided it was time to quit doing what I've always done, and getting what I've always gotten and start living louder and do the hard and scary things and finally getting what I want! Which is clearly, where? OUTSIDE MY COMFORT ZONE! Ha!

The challenge I joined runs to November 16th. Last Thursday marked the end of the first week of the challenge. I lost 1.6 pounds, which I feel good about. I am, however, in 10th place out of the 15 (I think) women in the challenge. I wasn't thrilled with that. Haha. Not that I want anybody to fail I just wanted to be better, well not better, just higher in the ranking. You know, like at least top 5, if not top 3, hell, number 1!! So, challenge accepted. I'll work a little harder, but also keeping in mind this is a marathon not a sprint. And the end goal is better health not winning. But if I can also win, well that's a bonus! 

Until the next time, go and do something brave!

😘

Next New Chapter.

 This is me. I'm 18 years old in this picture. 

I was embarrassed about so many things about my body. My boobs, my thighs, my stomach, how fat I was. That's right, take a look at that picture again. That girl thought she was fat. We all have these pictures and we think to ourselves, "I sure wish I was that fat again". If only right? Fast forward 34 years and this is me now. 

Hello Internet, here I am! In a dress at that!!! Haha. While I don't want to be the 18 year old version of me I also don't necessarily want to be the 52 year old version of me. I want something in-between. I want to be someone who is healthier. Someone who embraces and loves the body she already has, but also strives to find that healthy balance. I don't want to care so much how other people see me. The funny thing is, my true friends don't care at all what I look like, they love me for me. And I deserve to be loved for who I am. This is such a huge step outside my comfort zone, this is me being vulnerable and sharing with you my journey in self love, healthy living, and finding the joy in everything. This is me shedding the thought of there being a skinny girl underneath this fat suit. This "fat suit", as I have called it, is a symbol of everything I've been through; teenage angst, people telling me I'm not good enough, people asking if I should REALLY be eating that, weddings, funerals, lost jobs, celebrations, health scares, divorce, depression, pandemic, osteoarthritis, all the things. But I'm done eating all those feelings and done with this fat suit "symbol". I know all the life I've led to this point, because I lived it! I don't need a 'fat suit' to remind me. Time to simply feel the feelings and move on. Life is never perfect, but we can control how we react to it. And it doesn't always have to be with mashed potatoes and gravy or ice cream. I mean, sometimes it does. Just not EVERY TIME!

So, here I am, taking you all with me on the journey to, well, simply put, a healthier happier me. I will be talking about my daily struggles, things that I buy along the way, or have already bought that may help me with this journey. Books I've read or am reading. The daily battles with my inner voice. And they are DAILY! All the things that are part of my journey will be openly discussed. I've always said I'm an open book. I've just never shared with the whole Internet!