Funkytown

I’ve been in a funk, no joke. I am just so annoyed with this whole situation.  This is not a path I chose to be on. Well, I mean, it is my chosen path because I would not have stayed with a man who cheated for 8 years, but it was never my life plan. I was very much in love with him and planned to grow old with him. But anyway, I digress. I have been doing really great, and then suddenly BAM! I find myself at the low point on the roller-coaster again. I thought maybe this ride was coming to an end. Clearly, I was mistaken. About two weeks ago I signed up for Match and was on it a full week ...actively (I am signed up through August) but now I want nothing to do with it or the men on it. What happened to meeting people naturally? Is it that rare. I noticed as I was grocery shopping the other day that it has become so uncommon to make eye contact with people anymore. I made it a point to make eye contact and smile with whomever I could. When it happened it was like they weren’t sure how to handle someone smiling at them and being….friendly? Everyone is so involved in their phones. Put the phones down people, and you may actually see something happen in REAL LIFE!

Anyway…

While I can’t stop being on Match, I will just let it be. I am pretty happy right now just focusing on me. Yes, it's lonely at times, but it is what it is right now.  I am looking forward to spring and getting out more. Maybe more hiking and definitely some road trips. I think I may buy a camera. An actual CAMERA! (But digital, not with film! LOL)

Yes, I’m in a funk. I am really still very angry at the two people who decided to destroy my marriage. But angry doesn’t solve anything and I don’t want it to own me. But today, right now, in this moment, I am angry. This is when I have to hold onto knowing that KARMA will work that out. This is when I have to trust that while this may not be my chosen path, this is the path that I am meant to be on. 

I'm just going to continue to focus on me.