Next New Chapter.

 This is me. I'm 18 years old in this picture. 

I was embarrassed about so many things about my body. My boobs, my thighs, my stomach, how fat I was. That's right, take a look at that picture again. That girl thought she was fat. We all have these pictures and we think to ourselves, "I sure wish I was that fat again". If only right? Fast forward 34 years and this is me now. 

Hello Internet, here I am! In a dress at that!!! Haha. While I don't want to be the 18 year old version of me I also don't necessarily want to be the 52 year old version of me. I want something in-between. I want to be someone who is healthier. Someone who embraces and loves the body she already has, but also strives to find that healthy balance. I don't want to care so much how other people see me. The funny thing is, my true friends don't care at all what I look like, they love me for me. And I deserve to be loved for who I am. This is such a huge step outside my comfort zone, this is me being vulnerable and sharing with you my journey in self love, healthy living, and finding the joy in everything. This is me shedding the thought of there being a skinny girl underneath this fat suit. This "fat suit", as I have called it, is a symbol of everything I've been through; teenage angst, people telling me I'm not good enough, people asking if I should REALLY be eating that, weddings, funerals, lost jobs, celebrations, health scares, divorce, depression, pandemic, osteoarthritis, all the things. But I'm done eating all those feelings and done with this fat suit "symbol". I know all the life I've led to this point, because I lived it! I don't need a 'fat suit' to remind me. Time to simply feel the feelings and move on. Life is never perfect, but we can control how we react to it. And it doesn't always have to be with mashed potatoes and gravy or ice cream. I mean, sometimes it does. Just not EVERY TIME!

So, here I am, taking you all with me on the journey to, well, simply put, a healthier happier me. I will be talking about my daily struggles, things that I buy along the way, or have already bought that may help me with this journey. Books I've read or am reading. The daily battles with my inner voice. And they are DAILY! All the things that are part of my journey will be openly discussed. I've always said I'm an open book. I've just never shared with the whole Internet!