Sharp Turn

I hate this whole situation.

I hate that I feel like my whole marriage was a lie.

I hate that he still has power over my emotions.

I hate that I am the one who has had to step up and do everything that has to be done to get this marriage dissolved and separate our lives.

I hate that he has done this.

I hate that I feel like he isn't being held accountable.

I hate that she isn't being held accountable. 

I hate that two people that I once trusted have completely torn my life apart.

I hate that I question everything about my marriage.

I hate that I am still hurt by all of this.

I hate that he is seemingly un-phased by all of this.

I hate that I'm still dealing with all these emotions.

I hate that one day I'm fine and the next I'm not.

I hate that I don't trust a thing that comes out of his mouth.

I hate that it is near impossible to get hold of him (trust me I wouldn't if I didn't have to).

I hate that he takes forever to respond to any of the things that I need to get this over and done with.

I hate this roller-coaster.

I hate that I cry.

I hate that I cry at work, in the grocery store, in my car, at home, wherever.

I hate that SO MUCH music reminds me of him, or us.

I hate that this affect others as well.

I hate that I love him.

I hate this whole situation.

I hate hate.

I know that I'll be OK. I know that it takes time. I know.... karma. I know all these things. 

But I know that these are all the emotions that I'm feeling right now and I know that I am hurting. And I know that there is nothing anyone can do or say that will make it any better. 

Ride the ride. Sharp turns and all.